Conifer Fowl 2- everyone wants to kill me
by sixth sence
Summary: Sequel to Conifer Fowl- Sister of Artemis.


It was the first day back to school. I said goodbye to mum and dad (What? I'm not Artemis!) and left though the manor gates. When I got to the bus stop (You get alot of false friends when people knew of your money) everyone was wearing the same black blazer and white shirt. There was a new pupil. She was small and her hair always covered her ears. I found it slightly suspicious. I knew what opal Koboi could do to make herself human. And I had learnt at least one thing from Artemis. There was no such thing as coincidence.

"So," said Artemis. "You think there's a chance that a fairy might have pretended they were a human, and went to your school?" I nodded.

"Like you said, when it comes to fairies, there's no such thing as a coincidence." I said

"True," Admitted Artemis. "We'll phone Holly, see what she thinks."

"It's possible" Admitted Holly. "Very possible," Foaly's face flickered on to the computer screen, on a video link.

"I would proceed with caution, and not get to close to her."

"That will be hard," I said. Foaly looked quizzical.

"Why would that be?" He said.

"She does nothing but try to befriend me, makes it more suspicious." I replied. then I had a thought.

"What if we disguise Holly as a human, bring her to school. two heads are better than one, and we can send a live feed to the LEP." I said. Artemis smiled.

"Let's get on it then." He said.

When we were in Haven, We used the same trick Artemis did when mum (I already said, I'm not Artemis!) was possessed by Opal to get rid of her ears, some illusion technology to make her look 11, and some human clothes. She wore a pair of jeans, a plain indigo t-shirt and a denim jacket.

"There," Said Foaly when we were done. "You look like Conifer's best Friend. You can keep your first name, but your last name is Moon. Holly Moon, not too bad..."

"What best friend?" I asked. "I don't have one..." I trailed off, remembering my ignorace at school, and my lack of friends.

"Well you do now," Smiled Holly. "What's more, that best friend has a gun." I smiled.

"now, let's see, Holly, your hazel, Conifer, I'd say you're Emerald." My eyes were green, like mum's (Don't even think what I know you are) Artemis' were blue, like dad's. We were fitted out with iris-cams and memory latex microphones.

There, have a good day at school!" Said Foaly, as we left.

At school, people looked at me with disgusted looks, as usual, and, as usual, I walked past without a backward glance. Holly was there before me, to avoid suspicion. We took seats at the back of the bus, Holly now wearing her school uniform. The new girl came over.

"Hello!" She chirped up. "I'm Jade" Jewel name, Suspicious. Holly and I went for friendly approach.

"Hello," Said Holly. "I'm Holly Moon."

"And I'm Conifer Fowl." I said. She flinched at Holly's first name, And my surname. Not good way to start friendship. We shook hands

" know a Holly, but she's evil and mean." Said Jade, or Ruby, I wasn't sure.

Sometime later, me and Holly were in the bathroom, washing our hands after falling in the playground (Jade "accidently" tripped us up) When Jade walked in.

"Hello" She said, sinisterly.

"I thought so," I said, not looking her in the eye, instead taking some sunglasses out of my pocket.

"If you knew, why didn't you tell Artemis?" She challenged.

"I did," I said. "Why do you think holly's here?" I challenged back.

"That's not Holly," Said Jade. "She's human sized!" Holly ripped the illusion strip from the back of her neck.

"Are you sure?" she said. She put the strip back on, but not before Jade Pulled a neutrino mini from her sock.

We smiled and pulled Neutrino 6000s from our Blazers. She ran from the room, but we didn't follow, not with teachers around. But that handshake on the bus set a tracking gel pellet on her hand. We could track her every move.

"Good work," said Artemis." She looked scared out of her wits and we know she's a pixie." I smiled.

"We need to get on to stage two now," Said Holly, pretending she didn't emensely enjoy scaring the wits out of a koboi.

"Are you tracking her?" I asked. Artemis smiled.

"yes, can you go and make your call?" I smiled. time to phone up my my favourite kleptomaniac, flatulent dwarf.

I was in my study.

"Mulch?" I said into my fairy communicator.

"Connie!" said Mulch."How are you?" I didn't mind friends calling me Connie.

"Alright, you?" I replied.

"not to bad,now, what's up?" I smiled.

"Can you guess what we have on our hands?" I said.

"Oooh, hard question, I don't suppose it's a crisis?"he said, sarcastically.

"ding ding ding! how did you guess?" I said, equally sarcastically. "Question two, will you help us?"

"Hmm, that's a hard one, what's in it for me?" he said.

"A feast, that do?" I joked. Then, "Mulch, your getting as bad as Artemis."

"Fine, I'll risk my life for the lot of you, but you better be grateful," he said.

"Depends how well you do," I said, then hung up before he changed his mind..

"So," said mulch, when we got underground. "You want me to find her, and bring her back here?"

"Well," I replied. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

"OK, I'll see what I can do," he said, reluctantly.

Mulch's perspective

I couldn't believe it. I was out to find a pixie. And not just "a pixie" this one was after Conifer. I mean, I didn't really mind helping them out, but this could be putting an eleven year old girl in danger! I shook myself, I thought I was getting a little emotionally attached to the Fowls, and wasn't sure if it's a good thing or a bad one. I reached police plaza.

"I'm here to see Ruby Koboi." I said, trying to sound professional.

"Why?" challenged Commander Kelp.

"Conifer Fowl is in danger from Fairies and Humans alike." I said, pleased with my professional sounding speech.

"D'arvit!" Swore Trouble not so professionally. "Follow me." We walked through to Ruby Koboi's cell.

"Koboi, you got a visitor, and we're ignoring no- camera rules, as this is not a friendly visit" Said Kelp "Do what you like diggums, we're not going easy on this one." I didn't say a word, instead I stuck her in my mouth, spat her out, and dragged her out.

Conifer's perspective

I stared at the pixie un-concious in front of me. My hand absent-mindedly flew to my back, where a scarily large imprint of dark magic was. Ruby began to stir. I took my hand away.

"What the- CONIFER!" She screamed.

"Hello, Ruby." I said pleasantly.

"That magic should have killed you!" She spat.

"And it didn't." I replied. She didn't reply, instead her hand glowed red. I began to ache all over. I dropped on my knees, then all fours.

"Any last words, Conifer?" She spat.

"eat... this" I said. At that moment, Butler and Holly ran into the room, pointing guns at the cursed pixie.

"Cut it out, pixie," Said butler. She was so surprised, she forgot about her glowing hand and gave me a chance to get up and pull out a neutrino 6000.

"Know tell us, did you send a pixie to my school?" I said, staring her in the eye. From this, I could tell if she was lying.

"What? No. I want the pleasure of killing you, I wouldn't get someone else to do it."She replied. Her eyes stayed the same. She was telling the truth. Her hand glowed red again, and I was left un-conscious.

I woke up, already wearing the thought band, as Foaly had called it.

"Hello," I thought. Everyone looked round.

"Conifer," began Artemis. I cut him off.

"I know, Everyone wants to kill me." I thought. Everyone looked sad.

"And it's not the first time," I added. Everyone cheered up.

"So, either it's someone we've faced before, or someone who heard about us, and didn't like what they heard," Said Artemis

"Or some complete jerk who randomly targets people to logically murder, "I added.

"Or some complete jerk who randomly targets people to logically murder," agreed Artemis.

Artemis' perspective.

I watched my sister through the camera, as far as she was aware, I was meditating, but I couldn't help watching her. She was sketching, as usual. I remembered how I wanted to use this talent for stealing master pieces. I was so selfish...

Conifer's perspective

I had come up with something, so had Artemis, Foaly came up with a compromise. I got a hand-held computer track the pixie at my school. She was in Haven, at the most unlikely place. Spud's Spud Emporium. I went to Tara, dreading the un-tasteful spuds at the other end...

Jade's perspective

"I'd better get well paid for this," I thought, staring at the lumpy muck in front of me."She probably won't turn up anyway, smells too rank. "At that moment, a hooded, red head figure walked in. Her hair was shoulder length, so it couldn't be Holly. Her hair was red, so it wasn't Conifer. This was just a weirdo who liked Spud's spuds... Or was it...

Conifer's Perspective.

I walked into Spud's Spud Emporium, my red wig itching, but I resisted the temptation to scratch. I walked over to a table and picked up a menu that went something like this:

Baked Spud

Roast Spud

Spud with peas

Mashed spud

etc...

While I was reading the oversized-spud-filled menu, when a small blonde pixie came over.

"Excuse me," She said. "You haven't seen Conifer Fowl, have you?pective.

"Conifer Fowl?" I replied."Isn't she human?"

"Well, yes,but she should be coming," She was a gold mine of information. First,I was expected. Second, this was Jade, and third,she doesn't get above ground often, as she doesn't know how hard it is to get on a shuttle.

"Well," I continued. "I'd better be on my way. I came in because a friend needed to know what's on the menu. Goodbye." And I left the shop without a backwards glance. I did not want to meet my welcome party.

Artemis's perspective.

I saw Conifer arrive earlier than expected, without a pixie. This could only mean one of two things.

A. Equipment Malfunction on her location.

B. Something went wrong.

I prayed it was option A.

"I was expected," She said, after I asked what had happened. "She didn't regonise me, so she asked if I'd seen Conifer Fowl. I said I hadn't, and left before she put 2 and 2 together." I made sense.

"So, you got away on pure luck." Said Mulch. She shrugged.

"More or less." she said,leaving mulch speechless. That generally happens when you agree with an insult.

"Still, we should probably check the cameras." I said. Conifer smiled.

I'll get hacking." She said.

Conifer's perspective.

I sat infront of the computer screen, staring at it. I was bored. It is very hard to hack fairy cameras.

"But not impossible!" I kept reminding myself. At last, I got something. I looked at the footage. It showed Jade walking into the rank restraunt, with two others. One a gnome, one an elf. This elf was unmistakable. I was Turnball Root. "It can't be," I thought. "He was killed."I groaned. Why was everything so complicated? I looked at him closely. I realised one of his legs were mechanical, and he had a hell of a lot of scars. Mabe, by some miracle, he survived, and has come to get his revenge. I groaned again. Can't people accept they have lost? Can't they jut leave us alone? I had made so many plots there was not a square centimetre of wall that wasn't covered in sketches. And the worst thing was,it kept harder and harder each time. I continued watching.

"So, are you sure she'll come?" Asked Jade, to Turnball.

"Of course I'm sure, and the tracker pellet will fall right down her top." He replied.

"I dunno,Turnball, we're on shaky ground. I don't have to tell you the girl's a genius."Said the Gnome.

"Well, Tor, Do you have a better idea?" Snapped Turnball.

"Point taken," said the Gnome,who I knew was called Tor. The two left, and Jade sat down at a table. I swallowed. They had expected me to go,and now knew where I was. I closed the window and pressed the button to talk to Artemis.

"Artemis!"I said. "They're tracking-"

"Sorry," Said a voice behind me. "But he's already in the shuttle." I gulped.

I turned around to see none other than Turnball Root, and his two minions.

"Is he hurt?" I asked, threateningly.

"Not yet, but he will be alot more than hurt unless you come with me,without kicking and professional way or the tantrum way."He replied. I glared at him, but stood up.

"So," I said."I have a choice. Either don't go with you,and Artemis get's it, or go with you, and we both get a choice." I said,sarcastically.

"Incorrect." He said."You go with me, and you get it.I will let Artemis go. You have my word."

"I trust your word about as much as I trust a goblin's answer to a sum." I said. He scowled.

"Don't get smart with me fowl." He snapped. I smiled.

"I can get as smart with you as I like." I said.

"Aren't you forgetting poor Artemis,in my shuttle. I smiled.

"That's what you think. I'm surprised you made the same mistake as Ruby." At that moment he noticed my finger,still on the button.

"I think you'll find that you took mulch diggums, the best escape artist I know. He was wearing an illusion strip. Sorry, Turnball, you have been defeated, for the fourth time." He jumped out the window before I got a chance to do anything. He left a birthday wafer.I picked it up and listened.

" Not yet, Conifer, not yet." Then I was welcomed to a traditional elven birthday jingle. Not yet, I thought, But soon..

Conifers perspective

I talked to Artemis about what had happened,and showed him the birthday wafer.

"Not yet," He said. "But soon."

"That's what I thought, great minds think alike" I said. He smiled.

"Great, is an understatement," He said. I laughed.

"We still need to get plotting." I said. And with that,I left his study.

Artemis's Perspective

I sat down and meditated. I resisted the temptation to continue watching Conifer. This was serious, and I had to concentrate. But I couldn't. I was distracted. The reason Conifer had these demented fairies after her was because of my actions. But was it a bad thing I met Holly? If I hadn't, there was a good chance the entire human race would be extinct, and Opal would be queen of the fairies. Not a good way to be.

Conifer's perspective

My sketches had become less depressing. I was currently drawing an exotic flower, with several bees flying towards it. I was getting nowhere. I decided to go on a walk around the manor,to clear my head. I walked past Artemis' study and heard him arguing with himself. I realised it was about me. He thought he was to blame for demented fairies coming after me. This was all the inspiration I needed.I went back to my study and began to sketch.

Artemis's perspective.

I walked into Conifer's Study. She was away completing part one of the finally thought up plan. I looked at her sketches on the wall. The recent ones weren't as depressing as the first ones. But then, just after a perticularly cheerful one of an exotic flower with several bees flying towards it, was one of me. I looked at it more closely. From the expression on my sister-sketched face, I was in an an argument with my self. I looked more closely again at it. I could make out faint traces of writing, from the other side. I smiled. What a unique way of communication. I took it down from the wall. It said,

-Artemis

It's not your fault, It's theirs.

- Conifer

I smiled. It's always comforting to know your sister doesn't blame you for getting hit with neutrino lasers.

Conifer's Perspective.

I walked out into the street, when I got a call. I answered.

"Hello?" I said.

"Conifer!" Said Holly,sarcastically cheerfully.

"Holly!" I replied, with equal sarcasm. "What a surprise!"Holly stopped with the sarcasm.

"You'll never guess who just broke out of prison." She said.

"Oh gods." I said.

"That's right. Spiro and the people you want to see." I was about to reply when I saw a heat wave appear in front of me.I hung up. Time for explanation later, for now I had to run.

Turnball's Perspective.

"D'arvit!" I thought. "She spotted me!" I gave chase, hurriedly speaking into my helmet.

"Jade, Block off all exit routes of the Fowl Estate. Tor, Get to the gate. I don't want her going anywhere." They replied with mumbles of yes. I smiled.

"Good luck getting out of this one, Conifer," I mumbled under my breath. I reached the gates and couldn't believe my eyes. She had got out of it.

Conifer's perspective.

I had made it look like I was making a break for the gates,then changed course to the back garden. I was going to hide out there until Turnball gave up. was going to. Unfortunately, as I turned the corner, everything went black.

Conifer's Perspective.

I woke up to see Jade, Tor, Turnball, Ruby and Spiro.

"Black,what wonderful colour," Said Ruby grinning. "you've been seeing it quite alot recently, haven't you, Conifer?" I smiled.

"Not by choice, no," I said simply. Ruby scowled.

"Listen,Fowl, you may think you're a genius, but-"

"Incorrect," I butted in, half way through a knot pinch. "Don't think I'm a genius, I know I'm a genius."

"Fine," She snapped. "You may be a genius, but you're in ropes!" I grinned.

"Oh really?" I said, taking my hands from behind my back. They all stood up.I stayed where I was. Ruby was about to grab me, when I smacked her. She tumbled into Spiro,who tumbled into Turnball, and so on. I fled from the room while all the commotion was going on, and out the door, straight into- my own garden.

Artemis' Perspective.

I saw Conifer running towards the manor. I sighed. Running generally means something went wrong. She came in and told me about our favourite two people in the world escaping from jail. She went to her study to sketch, and I sat down to meditate.I banished all thoughts of Conifer, as I had in the missions he wasn't there. I was relived to find it worked.

Conifer's Perspective

I sat down at my desk, and saw a blank page on my desk. I smiled. Artemis was so cryptic some times.I held it up to the light. I saw a message in gnommish. It read, (Translated of course,)

-Conifer

Thank you for not blaming me for getting hit countless times with a neutrino 6000

-Artemis

I smiled,and got to work on my reply.

Conifer's perspective

I woke up the next morning. I looked at my picture of Artemis and smiled. This was fun,our secret chats. I got dressed and checked the calendar and stumbled backwards in shock. 4th of october. My birthday. I desperately hoped that Ruby didn't know,as she would ruin it without hesitation. I went down stairs to find my family struggling against ropes tying them to chairs.

"Well," Said a very annoying elf. "If it isn't Conifer Fowl."

Artemis' perspective- 10 minutes ago

I watched my sister fight for me. I kept getting her into these messes, and was no help getting her out. When the knife was plunged into her arm,I wanted to call out, however turnball was smart enough to gag me.

Butler's perspective.-10 minutes ago

I watched through the window. She was pretending not to know.

"How did you-" She said. To me, she was obviously pretending, but not to him. Turnball said something about putting two and two together.

"Too bad your not too good at your maths then," She said. The signal. I held up three fingers, then two, then one, then we opened the window and jumped in.

Conifer's perspective - now

I woke up in my own bed. wow thought, twice recently,has to be a record.

Conifer's perspective

No one was in the room. My arm was bandaged, and the bandage was deep red with blood. I got up and went down stairs. Artemis, Myles, Becket, Mum, Dad, Butler, Juliet and Holly were at the the table. Sitting on a smaller table was a HD Flitter4000 (Fairy video chat tech.)With Foaly's face on screen. I smiled.

"Morning," I said, "It's still morning,isn't it?" Artemis smiled.

"Amazingly so, yes. I wasn't expecting you to wake until lunch at the least," Said Artemis.

"Well," said Mum "Aren't you going to open them?"I started. Artemis had got me a Gnommish novel called,

The Tales of Tatillite. Mum and Dad got me a much needed sketch book. Becket drew me a picture of a scene where he was climbing a tree and I was watching. He was developing an artistic talent. Myles had written a book for me. He hadn't named it yet, but he would tell me when he had got me(OMG! I LUV FOALY!) the exact Flitter he was on, Butler just said to meet him in the dojo later for mine, Holly had got me a neutrino mini for when I was unexpectedly caught in crossfire. I smiled.I hadn't been snatched by fairy was a first.

Tor's perspective

I looked in the mirror at the rune on my neck. I supposed I had to go to jail because of it. I called up Jade.

"You coming?" I asked.

"I suppose I have to," She sighed.

"Where shall I pick you up?" I asked.

"Outside the old koboi labs building," She replied.

"OK, I'll see you there," I said,and hung up.

Artemis' perspective

I walked around conifer's room, and saw her reply on the wall. I took it down. It said-

-Artemis

It's all right, I'll be 's not as if I haven't done this before.

-conifer

I smiled. typical conifer.

Conifer's perspective.

I was walking down towards Tara (walking was vital,a car would be expected) when a small boy who looked about six walked up to me.

"Excuse me," He said, with a lisp. "Have you seen my mummy?" I almost groaned. Spiro was twisted,sending a six year old boy to do the dirty work. Spiro himself did the absolutely filthy work. I smiled sweetly.

"No,but I'll help you look for her. I need to go to my house,first, to let my brother know where I am." I replied. I took his hand and walked towards Fowl Manor. When I got there, I knocked on the door. Butler answered.

"Conifer," He said,"Your home early."

"I need to talk to Artemis." I said.

Six year old boy's perspective.

I was scared. The man said if I didn't do this right he would kill me. So far, it wasn't happening right. She had asked for Artemis, which didn't sound like a nice name. A pale, raven haired boy came to the door. He looked at me, then at the girl.

"Conifer?" He said

Conifer's perspective

"Who is your mum?" I asked,after I had explained everything to Artemis.

"I don't have one," He said. "I'm an orphan,"

"That monster!" I exclaimed."That utter idiot!"

"Far from it," Said Artemis. I'll stay with him,you go to Tara." I nodded,and left.

I arrived at Tara, only to see exactly what I didn't want to. Jon Spiro.

"Hello Conifer," He said."I see Louie isn't with you, now, if you would be so kind as to follow me?"

"In your dreams Spiro," I replied. "You twisted man, using an orphan to bait me."

"I thought you would say that," He said, he signalled for someone to go forward, and they did, holding a knife to my brother's throat.

Artemis' perspective.

I couldn't hear what was being said from the wind whistling in my ears. But,as far as I could see, Conifer was giving in.I held Back a smile. She would make sure I was safe, then then pound the living daylights out of Spiro. She walked forward, and was picked up by two burly-looking body guards. She looked helpless in their arms, but was far from it. She said something, I read her lips.

"Let him go!" She said.

"Very well," He replied, and clapped his hands. The knife was lifted from my throat. She was lifted into the shuttle port.

Conifer's Perspective

I was carried into the shuttle port. I silently twisted my arms around to make the bodyguards drop me. I hit them hard to knock them out. Then I jabbed four fingers into Spiro's back. What happened next was a complete accident. As my fingers went into his back, He stumbled forward at an angle, and fell off the narrow platform. As he went down towards the centre of the earth, he screamed,

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!" I didn't feel upset, or guilty, In fact, I felt pretty good!

Six year old's perspective.

I adventured the big house. There were lots of rooms, but the doors were really heavy, so I couldn't open them. Except for one. I pushed it open,and saw a boy about my age sitting on the floor.

"Hello," He said. "I'm Beckett.

"I'm Brian," I Said. He invited me over to play with some Lego, and I accepted eagerly.


End file.
